Long and Winding Road (re-posted)
by CatsBalletHarveySpecter
Summary: Donna helps Harvey cope with some life changes. 6 months post 908.


AN: I originally wrote this as a way to deal with some things and posted it to a different account, but I wanted all my stories to be in one place and have decided to re-post it here.

It's post 908, and it's a little bit different than the way I usually write.

* * *

"Are you sure?" she asks, her arm tightly wound through his as he led the way up the gravel path towards the iron gate.

"I'm sure, I have you by my side, if I've learned anything this past year, it's that I feel safe when you're here. You make me feel safe" he smiles and places a kiss into her temple.

He leads them through the gate and along the stone path, one hand intertwined with hers, the other holding a bottle of Macallen and a bouquet of lilies.

It had been six months since his mother died. Six months since she held him in her arms, and he crumbled. Six months since his world turned on his axis and Donna helped him pick up the pieces of his broken heart.

They made their way down the stone path beneath the early afternoon sun, the cool fall breeze causing her to pull her sweater tighter to her chest. He'd caught her off guard this morning when he asked her to accompany him to Boston, but she agreed in a heartbeat, knowing he shouldn't have to do this on his own. A lot had changed since they'd last been to Boston and she can't help but smile at how far he'd come in a mere six months. Losing his mother devastated him and the weeks that followed showed Donna a side of Harvey she never knew existed. He was the picture of a broken man, overcome with grief and emotion, while he cursed at himself for waiting so long to forgive the women that gave birth to him.

For a week after she broke the news to him, he fell asleep in her arms, weeping while she stroked his hair and whispered that she was there, she always would be. She hardly recognized him at the funeral, the shell of a man that he once was, greeting each guest with a forced smile and a firm handshake, and her heart ached for him.

But with time came healing and eventually the old Harvey she once knew found his way back to her. His healing took time, but once he accepted that his mother died knowing he had forgiven her, and that he was truly happy, it made grieving her a little bit easier.

Her sudden death also brought to light something he had been struggling to understand, providing him with the revelation that maybe there was more to life than the everyday routine of waking up, going to work and repeating the cycle day in and day out. It provided him with a desire for more, and though it took a while to decipher what that more was, one day he woke up and just knew.

Knew that the he wanted to be remembered for being a good man, not for being a good lawyer. They talked about it for weeks, running through the pros and cons of him walking away from everything he'd spend his adult life working towards and in the end, they always arrived at the same conclusion.

With a heavy heart, he stepped down from his position at the firm two months after his mother's passing. She held his hand tightly as they walked towards the elevators that night. One final stroll through the place that helped bring them together. She watched as his gaze lingered on the silver lettering that spelt Specter on the wall and gave his palm a squeeze, and he leaned down to place his head on her shoulder while they stood in a comfortable silence; internally thanking the firm for giving them both a sense of home and a family.

Four months after his mother's passing, he asked Donna to marry him. It was a random rainy Tuesday afternoon when he stumbled in after a long day at work and found her making dinner in the kitchen, singing along to an old pop song on the radio as she did. It was the first week as a professor at Columbia, something he never saw himself doing but so far, he was enjoying it and on this specific rainy Tuesday, he found himself suddenly overcome with questions about why he hadn't asked Donna to marry him yet. He'd had the ring for months, since that night he nearly proposed by accident but after everything that happened with his mother, he didn't want her to think his proposal was out of fear of losing her too. So, he waited. And waited. Until he could no longer figure out what he was waiting for and he dropped to a knee in the middle of the kitchen, sopping wet from coming home in the pouring rain. She flung herself into his arms when she said yes, sliding the ring onto her finger with tear-filled eyes before collapsing into his arms on the kitchen floor with a glee-filled sob.

Catching a glimpse at her ring through their intertwined fingers, she smiled to herself as they begin to make their way across the lawn and towards white bridge that crossed a small, man made river. Harvey had grown so much in the years she'd known him, but the past six months alone showed her how far he'd come, how far they'd both come. She watched as he put his life back together piece by piece, coming to terms with his mistakes while using them to grow and move forward, and every part of her loved him for the man he was, and the man he'd become.

She can't imagine it was easy, to lose his mother after finally welcoming her back into his life, and there were times when she wonders if it would have been easier had he never made up with his mother. If saying goodbye to a stranger would have been better than saying goodbye to someone he loved, but she doubts it would have been. Because had he not made up with his mother, he never would have forgiven himself and he would have walked around every day for the rest of his life wishing he'd done things differently. She'd only met her once, Lily, over the phone, but she knew that Harvey's forgiveness meant the world to her, and that they both were now at peace.

Upon reaching an opening in the field, he leads her to a headstone beneath a large oak tree and places the bottle on top with a small, pained smile.

"Hey dad" he whispers, running his hand along the top of the headstone. She stays a few steps behind him and allows him to say a few words, watching as his body relaxes when he begins to speak.

"I know it's been a while, and if you're with mom up there, I assume you know why. I wanted you to know I'm doing alright. Donna, you remember Donna, right? Of course you do, you always did say we'd end up together. Anyways, Donna's here and well she's the reason I'm alright dad. You always said she was something special and as always, you were right. I asked her to marry me, and for some crazy reason, she said yes."

He turns to face her, and she steps forward and leans into his side as he takes a deep breath.

She looks up at him and silently asks his permission to say a few words, permission he grants with a nod.

"Hi Gordon, he haven't formally met, but we used to talk on the phone a lot. I just wanted to tell you what an amazing man your son has grown up to be, I know you'd be really proud."

He sniffles beside her and a small tear rolls down his cheek as she leans further into his side. He'd considered bringing Donna to visit his father once before, but he always found he needed to be alone so he didn't have to hide his emotions. After everything they'd been through the past six months, he knew it was time to introduce them, even if it wasn't the type of introduction he would have wanted them to have.

Losing his mother really put things into perspective and he was grateful to have Donna by his side through it all. Through his change in careers, his struggle with accepting the lost years with his mother and ultimately, on his journey to rediscover the kind of man he wanted to be.

Bidding his father goodbye, he takes her hand in his once again while they make the silent journey to the tree next to the giant oak, where the fresh laid soil was still evident and an assortment of fresh lilies were planted. They stop before the marble stone that read, Lily Specter, loving mother and wife and friend; a sentence that took Harvey and Marcus weeks to agree upon.

"You okay?" She asks, noticing his breath hitch as they reached their destination.

"I will be" he smiles down at her with a gentle squeeze of her palm.

"Do you want me to give you a minute?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you'd want to come talk to her with me?" He asks with hopeful eyes and a sad smile.

"Of course" she nods, following his lead up to the stone.

He's silent for a while, running his hand over the letters that spelt out her name and laying the flowers at the base. This was the first time since the funeral he'd visited, and the reality that she was really gone hit him with surprising force.

"Hey mom" he finally whispers, the tears now rolling down his cheeks and clouding his vision.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited yet, but I had some personal things I needed to work through. You leaving us left me with a lot of questions, and a lot of pain, but I've worked through it and I think I'm a better man for it now" he breathes.

"The last time we talked, and I mean really talked, I told you I loved you and I really meant it mom. All those years I wasted, I need you to know that despite being angry with you, there was never a time I didn't love you. A lot has changed since you left, but it's good change. Im teaching now, if you can believe that. Maybe subconsciously part of me wanted to be closer to you, and in some small way, teaching lets me do that."

Donna watches him through glossy eyes, his words resonating with her in a way that makes her heart ache for his loss but also swell with pride for his courage and strength.

"I asked Donna to marry me, I know she told you I tried to get away with half asking her that night we talked on the phone, but I took you words to heart and I asked her for real."

"What?" Donna interrupts, his words catching her off guard.

He smiles at her and continues talking, "She doesn't know we talked about this the next day on the phone, but I heard you when you told me life is precious and that I shouldn't waste another second of it without telling her just how much I love her, so I made it official, like you said I should."

"That's actually why I asked her to come here with me mom, because I wanted to thank you both, for helping me see what kind of man I wanted to be, and for showing me there is more to life than what I once believed. I love you mom."

He finished and places a kiss on his hand before reaching out and touching the top of the stone.

"You ready to go?" He asks, wiping away his tears.

"Do you think I can I have a minute?" She asks and he nods, stepping back to give her some privacy.

She leans down and places one hand on the stone, whispering so Harvey can't overhear what she has to say.

"Hi Lily" she whispers, "He really misses you, and I know we never met, but I do too. I know he told you were getting married and I guess I wanted to let you in on a little secret that he doesn't know yet. He's going to be a father, and I wanted to ask you how you would feel about the name Lily, if it's a girl. It's still too early to tell, but I would be honoured if my future daughter shared your name. I'm going to tell him later and I know he would have been thrilled to share the news with you. He's going to make a great dad, because you raised him to be the kind of man that always looks out for the people he loves, and for that I'll always be grateful. I know you can't answer me, but just know, one day our daughter or son is going to ask about their grandmother, and I can't wait to tell them what a wonderful women you were."

She adjusts the flowers Harvey placed in the dirt and gets up to join him, linking their fingers once more as they head back to the car.

"What was that about?" He smiles at her.

"Just some girl talk" she answers.

"Thank you Donna, for being here. And not just today, for all of it."

"For you, always."

"What do you say we take the long way home? Just enjoy the ride?" He asks, opening her car door and waiting for her to climb inside.

"I would love too."


End file.
